My locker is obscene.
Worst place you’ve ever seen.
It’s such a mess.

The janitor will surely die
When I leave in June!

Bruce Lasky, the famous school tunester, has a collection which is just right for letting off steam during elementary nature camps or field trips. Even the teachers will be laughing on the inside at these clever lyrics set to melodies everyone knows.

THE BATTLE HYMN OF THE REPULSIVE (to the tune of “The Battle Hymn of the Republic”)

Mine eyes have seen the kitchen, which is why I bring my lunch.
We have smelled the things they’re cooking and they’re toxic, we’ve a hunch.
And the salads are so soggy that you’ll never hear a crunch.
I bring my lunch to school.

Of course, there are due consequences for some behavior, as one would-be meatball three-point shooter soon learns:

I’VE BEEN SITTIN’ IN DETENTION (to the tune of “I’ve Been Working on the Railroad”)

Throwing meatballs in the lunchroom
Wasn’t wise, I fear.
I was aiming for the trash can,
Not my teacher’s rear.

Lasky and his collaborating artist, Stephen Carpenter, hit just the right touch of self-spoofery for the middle grade school kid in their I’ve Been Burping in the Classroom, sure to bring forth giggles and a “Can we sing it now?” from the kids who hear these hilariously silly songs. For other books in this same genre, take a look at Alan Katz’ Take Me Out of the Bathtub and Other Silly Dilly Songs and its several sequels, and Kelly Dipucchio’s silly and spooky songbook, just right for Halloween parties, Campfire Songs For Monsters (Sipping Spiders Through A Straw).

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